Why code words are useful to help your child communicate unease in a social situation

As children grow, they’ll start to want a little more independence and enjoy all of the wonderful experiences that come along with growing up.

From sleepovers to parties and outings with their friends, you'll want to give them the opportunity to spend a little time away from you. However, even the best-made plans can sometimes turn sour, and your child might find themselves in a situation that they either don't feel comfortable with or don't know how to let you know without causing embarrassment.

In these situations, you and your child can come up with a code word or phrase that means “I’m not at ease, please come and get me” without alerting anyone else they might be with to the problem.

This can be useful in a wide range of social situations. For example, if your child is at a sleepover and isn't getting on with the other children or feels uncomfortable but doesn't want to draw the attention of others to the issue, then they can give you a call (or send a text if they have a mobile phone) to ask you if you've ‘found their favourite earrings / computer game' or other item.

Although this might not sound like anything out of the ordinary for anyone in earshot, if you’ve decided that this is your code phrase then you can quickly make up an excuse why you need to go and collect your child, such as an unexpected visit from a family member who lives far away.

This can help put your child at ease and lets them know that you’re on your way, then you can find out what the issue was once you return home.

It's also a great safeguard if your child is out with their friends and their group has decided to go somewhere or do something that your child knows you wouldn't be happy with. Although they won't want to face ridicule from their friends, they can always give you a call from a pay phone or mobile to ask if ‘Auntie Gertrude' has arrived as they really want to see her.

That way, your child has a ‘reason' for leaving, and you can go and collect them without them having to confess to their friends that they're not happy with the situation. If you feel like the children are at risk once you've collected your child, then ask the rest of the group if anyone wants a lift home as there may be others who are in the exact same situation but don't know how to get out of it.

Once you’ve discovered their reason for being uncomfortable, then the sensible thing is to alert the other parents if you feel their children could be at risk.

Tags: Child safety, code words for children, code words